However, it`s understandable that incorporating new life-changing habits into our lives and relationships can sometimes be challenging. Don Miguel Ruiz tells us that he himself had difficulty respecting these agreements: “At first, I did not expect to be able to do it. I fell several times, but I got up and kept going. And I fell again, and I kept going. I had no mercy for myself. There was no way I would feel sorry for myself. I said, “If I fall, I`m strong enough, I`m smart enough, I can do it!” I got up and kept going. I fell and kept going again and again… (The language here seems to me to be The Little Engine, the. for tall people.) Most of our deep wounds and anger are an old trauma, an old pain and an old shame.
When a small event triggers a big harry reaction, it is important to understand that an old pain has arrived at the party. It is important to understand how to deal with our own individual pain. It`s also important to learn how to navigate our relationships, even when emotional pain manifests with sharp claws in search of a goal. The above behaviors create a distance between people. The four agreements will help you close this space so that you can maintain healthy relationships based on trust and vulnerability. If we can assume that our partners are doing their best at all times, we can begin to see their self triggered and frightened as a part of them coming to healing. In romantic relationships, we have a great opportunity to heal from past wounds and traumas. We will have the opportunity to be “triggered”. What we do as a couple with these opportunities is how we begin to navigate and heal both ourselves and our partners. In his most famous book, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Wisdom (A Toltec Wisdom Book),” Don Miguel Ruiz explains how we can personally free ourselves from the beliefs and agreements we have made with ourselves and others that create limitations and unhappiness in our lives. These agreements do not only apply to life in general, but are absolutely essential when it comes to dating. Here`s how it works: Well.
I hope you will join me in raising your awareness of the Four Accords, one of my absolute favorite books! This is a big step towards building happy and healthy relationships. To overcome this, Don Miguel Ruiz proposes four principles to practice in order to create and maintain love and happiness in our lives. What do you like about a woman? What do you want to know? What would make you more attracted to her? And if sex is important to you (which you almost always are), you can`t be afraid to raise the issue and express yourself. Bury who you are or what you want and you will never get the relationships you desire. If you liked it, I highly recommend reading The Four Chords as well as Don Miguel`s other books, The Mastery of Love and the Voice of Knowledge. It`s about building healthy relationships and overcoming inner voices that cause suffering or fear. On Amazon, there is a box of all three. As is the case with most relationships, if we become too familiar with someone, we can quickly become careless and make less effort. The longer we are with a partner, the more both become trapped by the unreasonable assumptions and expectations that both develop for what “should” happen.
If you want a better relationship with your partner or spouse, start with the agreements you have with yourself. Who are you and what do you represent? What do you say to yourself, how do you talk about yourself and others? Are you honest and open or do you make assumptions and take things personally? Find out what the four chords are and how they are the KEY to better and healthier relationships. Be sure to get your FREE guide on relationship communication too! #TheFourAgreements #PersonalDevelopment #Relationships #Marriage #CouplesTherapy Hi Carol. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog! Your experience with your husband is not unusual of what some of my clients have also experienced. We all have our personal differences and perceptions, which can often lead to challenges and conflicts in our relationships. Although it seems that you have talked to him about questions, I strongly encourage you to give the “express your concern” technique that I described in the “Deal #1: Be impeccable with your word” section of this blog, as a different approach might be effective. Also check out my YouTube video on “How to Have Difficult Conversations”: youtu.be/eq1-Nm1TMMo as it will help you too. It is so important that we strive to have happy and healthy relationships where empathy and understanding are present. For some of them, these two little books – The Four Chords and The Mastery of Love – will be good to pack them for the journey. We all make assumptions. Assumptions about how something is going to work.
(Also known as expectations.) The problem with assumptions is that they are mostly unspoken. What you want to do is communicate your expectations and describe any agreements that you “think” you understand, but don`t explicitly remember that you agreed to. Let me give you an example. Hello Augiefesta. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share your experience. I`m sorry to hear that you`ve had some tough times with your boyfriend. I note that you said that it has reached the point where you no longer express your opinion. However, I think it would be beneficial for you to gain a deeper understanding/understanding of why your friend`s behavior towards you has changed recently. There could be an underlying problem in an aspect of his life that affects his thoughts, feelings, and emotions and thus affects his behavior change. It looks like you`ve already talked to him about your concerns, but now you`ve withdrawn so you don`t have to fight or be knocked down.
I can understand why this seems to be the safest option. However, if you don`t speak, you will hold back your truth and you will probably feel worse and helpless. If not, I strongly encourage you to give the “express your concern” technique that I described in the “Deal #1: Be impeccable with your word” section of this blog, as using this technique as a different approach could be effective. Also check out my YouTube video on “How to Have Difficult Conversations”: youtu.be/eq1-Nm1TMMo as it will help you too. I think it`s fair to say that sometimes there will be challenges and conflicts in our relationships. However, it is important to have happy and healthy relationships where there is kindness, empathy and understanding, so please let me know how it goes and all the best in every conversation you want to have with him. With Love, Teresha Xx Well, we all need to take care of ourselves and our romantic partner with love and by simply practicing these four principles on a daily basis, they can soon be integrated into our being, our relationships and the real fact, all areas of our life. When you start having an honest and loving relationship with yourself, you naturally attract healthy relationships to all other parts of your life. To have a better relationship with your spouse or partner, start with yourself.
Start with what you tell yourself and how you treat yourself. Love yourself and you will teach the people around you to do the same. Find out what the most important agreements are and get your FREE relationship communication guide. #TheFourAgreements #PersonalDevelopment #Relationships #Marriage #CouplesTherapy Agreements depend on this little idea. We are all doing our best. Even if you don`t meet your needs, even your spoken needs (“Please bring me a milkshake next time”), you need to find the compassionate perspective that your friend/partner is doing their best. And if that`s true (and you have to start believing it`s true), then they didn`t intentionally hurt you. They didn`t intentionally try to make you unloved and unwanted by not bringing you a cold sugary drink. .